Oh well

Time of month/day is important...
I was unusually shaky in the dental office...
Plied with OJ, crackers...
They did take credit card. Unlike urgent care.
I will not forget this when I am in a better position in the future.

Night is beautiful

Walking a bit at night is very restorative.

I drove home and nature seemed big because of the lightening over the hills.

My financial worries seemed far away, like they could belong to another person.

I woke up early with pain. I have a heating pad and it helps.

I want everything to change.

Hi, I am a womb/ovary

Womanly hormone imbalance civil rights type of thing....I wonder if a low cost Buddhist acupuncture clinic would be a good place to visit...

It's like...a game??

Bad news: the endo I was referred to won't see me. He said my Dr. needs to refer me to an OBGyn. I didn't have a good feeling about him anyway. Good news: pain went away for now...

Maybe it will help

I wish to God I was not having such health problems and pain issues this week. I can't afford an expensive reiki healer right now so I am just going to pray.

Sometimes I do feel healing vibes and that's always a good thing.

I want to be at the store right now

Buying printer paper and other things, but no. My body wants me to pay attention to it. All day, pretty good and not much pain. Except for the morning, of course.

I guess I just have to be grateful. For bed, water, tea, a heating pad, a body, life.

I wonder if I need a regimen.
Or a support group.

"Have you done your womb massage? Have you tracked and recorded your temperature and all your symptoms and everything you ate in an app?"

I blew off the apps this month. Maybe I will go back to using them.

Because knowledge...

Strip Mining Science: Trump Administration Stops Mining Health Study

Early a.m. body talk

Because of my recurring challenges with pain and my womb in this body, I want to ask something. I was really disappointed before, but I still need to ask some people, if they feel even a little bit of a calling, to heed and to really choose to be their wiser, more compassionate selves.

Many of us have been encouraged to be hard and tough but some of us have to choose otherwise. It seems I just cannot heal myself if I am that way, so I conclude that I am not supposed to be that way anymore.

It's time to be more healing and a lot of men need to embrace their feminine sides more and so do some women. I really hope I can be around those people. I believe that I can be.

I still need strength. I know many people do not want to change. They like being tough. Their bodies are different. They don't have this issue, or the same urgency to seek healing. I don't know why but this is what I walk and experience now. I can't fight when I need to heal so much. I need to access levels of healing that are deep and powerful.

If you want to, you can know it's good for you, and it is also your gift to yourself if you choose to follow that part of you that is compassionate. Even if some reward you for not caring or being tough, you can choose differently. You can go on an adventure of getting in touch with your healing qualities.

People are afraid to be weak, but vulnerability is a key element of the human experience. You can see that it is a sign of bravey, not weakness, to acknowledge this. You can have wonderful experiences.

I know, because of my experiences, I will have to get so much better at healing myself and at finding people who are in touch with wise, healing energies. Maybe soon I won't have to experience chronic, intense pain in this way.

Blessed be my good books and healing helpers and my castor oil pack.

Guess what....

I have been thinking it's time to just let the healing experts take over. Really. They are other people or angels or guides. Let go of old things that don't help you. Find lighter people. Help yourself. Give yourself permission to relax.

You and you and you...

Insights

Pain is very attention-grabbing.
I am good at chewing on ginger I froze then tossed into a cup of tea.
I have an amazing uterus and it talks.
Perhaps I need to be more careful with what I eat? Hi. Hi. Hello...Hi. Okay.
You have my attention. I am happy you are going to help me feel better now.

I guess I need to get into the habit of doing the womb massage.

It is so

I have a good cat and people in my life are getting older and it's time to figure out health stuff and meditate.

This smells so good

😄yummy😄tomatoes😄

Did your mother draft this pledge?

Did she feel like she could?

http://mbaallies.com/sign-the-pledge/

Dear Jesus

I would like for you to consider this question: if it was made very clear that you would be the right fit for a male-dominated environment if you lost weight, went along with a bunch of sexist banter that puts down women, praised people in charge and looked the other way when they acted like children who were brought up to disrespect women, and were so so so nice and accomodating to the right people and never complained because they like women to be super supportive no matter what

Is that Real Sexism

Or is that just a learning experience?

Points of view to consider

If for no other reason than

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/03/ellen-pao-and-the-sexism-you-cant-quite-prove.html

you were put on earth to do better.

https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/ellen-pao-silicon-valley-sexism-reset-excerpt.html

Good animal story

Harvey the Hurricane Hawk!

Happiness, good and simple

Happiness is when you buy a nice new pine chair and a cushion to put on it and you didn't even realize you were bringing home another catbed!

But guess who knew what it was...

This seems best for some things

Who cares about who's guilty. Care more about the healing process. Wisdom courtesy of physicality speaking.

The whole world needs healing

It's how it feels Right Now

Ha ha, hundreds of times heard the song

Today for the first time saw the 80s library video! Tears for Fears ~ Head Over Heels

Fry an egg on the sidewalk

Haven't you always wanted to try that...

Ice cubes all week

May God grant joy during the ~heatwave~

Those really ...... types of thoughts

I don't have to have kids from my body, but...I have done an awful lot of running into people who had stories of women having kids in their forties...I can't right now. For a lot of reasons. MONEY. But I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I suppose there's also adoption possibilities? I have a slight preference for having one in the body because then I can control what I eat, and etc...However, cramps are so unfun they almost never endear me...so...we shall see...$$$ makes a difference too. I can't think about it now, so I won't. ***** Plus, when I was younger, I never thought I'd set out to be an older mother. But are there spirits who chose older mothers for reasons? Maybe it is so. Plus I have a "baby" cat who throws up a lot. I used to think I couldn't deal with that. But the cat has made me almost immune. Good going cat. But we will try to get your digestive system on track.

How beautiful to see/hear...

while putting away dishes and sipping a very cold "old fashioned" made with agave nectar and 4 ice cubes


Tori Amos ~ Reindeer King

I also woke up and heard it early in the morning when it first came out...

Tonight was peach pie

Today was women's equality day. I saw some films about women who were suffraigists and self-defense movements.

It was not a pain-free day.  My wish is for clearer communication. Love of nature. Peace. Harmony. People are people...not so different underneath it all...I want to be more spiritual, and actually my body helps me realize that. Always crave spiritual type healing when I am faced with pain. It's possible to live a more spiritual life.

Sometimes I think of a string of words.
"I will fight no more forever."

Cheer up

Men At Top Business Schools Tackle Sexism

Plates from The Orange Fairy Book

Ian and the Blue Falcon (page ii)
The Queen and the Crab (page 200)

Gratitude

I live with someone nice. My cat's health is good today. I dreamed a person who represented someone who was untrustworthy and immature in the past had changed his attitude and he was going to help me financially. I was suspicious. I said, well don't you want or need that money for yourself. And he explained he wanted to give it to me and he gave me an embrace. He said he could tell I needed it. I said I would use it for school, to get me to where I need to be. That was a good dream.

Found a bright spot!

This guy is just enjoying walking / running / jumping / wandering around a very cool national park and singing...


Streetlight Cadence ~ Love Will Come Your Way

The mind wonders

why sometimes "good for business..."

The Media Is the Villain – for Creating a World Dumb Enough for Trump
by Matt Tabibi

is really not good for people

The Long, Lawless Ride of Joe Arpaio by Joe Hagan

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why is there so much work to do....

The Harmless-Sounding Phrase That Is Terrible for All Women
by Karen Rinaldi:

"A colleague who made a sexist remark in a meeting? Well, we think, he didn’t mean it. He’s basically a good guy. The young man who insulted his date in front of his friends? He didn’t think she would take it so personally. He’s really a good guy.

What is the female equivalent to that catch phrase? There isn’t one. Men are forgiven for behaving badly because the assumption is that underneath it all they are basically well intentioned."

WHY

Beware of Bullies by Jill Griffin:

"According to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) 2014 study, male perpetrators seem to prefer targeting women (57%) more than other men (43%). Women bullies were less 'equitable' when choosing their targets for bullying. Women bullied women in 68% of cases."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

BUT what are ya gonna do...'SNL's Weekend Update': Watch Trump List off Hate Groups Like They're Pokemon

Is a phone nature

If you love nature but still you get sucked into an AMA thread...

I like Angel books and nature

I know it must get better, hope the ground can eat up waves of crushing disappointment....and beyond that, it's like spirits of women institutionalized by the patriarchy and tribes facing genocide were buried deep and I need higher powers to make it better. Like spiritual help is going to be what makes it okay....it might be Jesus or songs or a cat or maybe even people sometimes...if I breathe the right way maybe chemicals will shift or alter into something that gives life and hope...there are those that scoff or make themselves believe that you are being overly dramatic but they don't feel it and that's why it's most important to focus on healing. Very valuable it is. The need to heal is beyond words and people who can feel that have to know and believe that it can happen and it will happen...

I am going out

to raise my spirits.
There will be nature
and happy people.

Bones and fat

And FSH...
Researchers Track an Unlikely Culprit in Weight Gain

Some have skills

Good skills

http://www.krem.com/mb/news/coach-explains-how-to-safely-stretch-after-video-of-cheer-squads-forced-splits-goes-viral/467110714

It's lunchtime

If you can stomach pairing

All-Male PR Panel Tells Women They Can Fix Sexism by ‘Speaking Up More Loudly’

with

Study Shows Women and Minorities are Punished for Speaking Up...

Jesus, nature, peace...

It's time to let go of old things...
And embrace peaceful, positive change... For the better...better...better... Cool breeze, soft whisper...What is best for your body... Good and healing to your systems.

 Peace ~ peace ~ peace

Heart animals...

Very mindful and watchful of the cat because she's not feeling well again. This is such a cool discovery: http://relay.nationalgeographic.com/proxy/distribution/public/amp/2017/08/purple-frog-new-species-discovery-india-monsoon

Good MUSIC & a movie

How Can I Cry - Moira Smiley & VOCO (Live at Carthage College 4/7/16)

AND I KEEP THINKING ABOUT MARWENCOL

I want to watch it again.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/15/arts/design/mark-hogancamp-the-artist-as-imagined-war-hero.html

And see the feature

http://variety.com/2017/film/news/diane-kruger-steve-carell-marwencol-movie-1202469079/

This is something

It is suffering.

http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-transgender-ban-20170824-story.html

This is good!

https://www.good.is/articles/mtv-transgender-military-vmas

Too much bitterness will make people sick.

Everything is delicate today

The heart and the tears and the old stuff and the family tree stories and the precious cat crawling into your vision...and purring....like a human lap is her favorite place...

Goat yoga

Goat yoga
Goat yoga
Goat yoga

http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/pets/ph-cc-animal-yoga-trend-20170616-story.html

Save us...

Can good come of this...

Honestly...

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/07/department-of-energy-risks-michael-lewis/amp

Can't read it all right now.
Time to switch topics.
Some part of me is exhausted.

Body wins...again

Water was cool and silky...coughing and mild chest pain made me get out early...It's probably just costchrodritis again...fatiguing drive home...better to lie with tea and turmeric....quiet self...there is some drumming or a band playing...but it is okay...

D is for...

DISCRIMINATION

Russia Flight Attendant...

"'No one cares about professionalism - you have to be young, slim and pretty'"

https://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2017/08/21/world/europe/ap-eu-russia-flight-attendant-lawsuit.html

Michigan is better than 49 others at this...

Also, San Francisco and Binghamton. From "49 States Legally Allow Employers to Discriminate Based on Weight" By Areva Martin:

"We already know that women are judged more harshly than men for their physical appearance. But overweight women face such criticism at even harsher levels — from both men and women.

A 2016 study found that male job interviewers judged overweight female candidates more harshly than overweight male candidates, while female job interviewers judged both female and male overweight candidates harshly. 'When it comes to ‘beauty,’ being an overweight woman is judged negatively by both sexes whereas men are a lot more forgiving towards each other,' Sonia Oreffice, a professor of the University of Surrey and the study’s lead author, said in a press release at the time. 'Body size matters for wages, not simply as proxy for beauty.'”

~ http://motto.time.com/4883176/weight-discrimination-workplace-laws/

Oh, kitties...

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/6vkmio/1_of_cats_own_99_of_best_seats/

Attention-grabbing

Tailbone injury. How your headache could’ve started as a pain in the ass.

Good

I had a funny dream about a guy who did not want to work at a grocery store but after talking within (oh I meant to say after talking with me and some other women but "talking within" works too) he was going to do it and he was also thanking me and I felt happy and grateful and hey FOOD FOOD FOOD I am gonna use this recipe as a base for breakfasts!!!!

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/256433/muffin-tin-quiches-with-smoked-cheddar-potato/

It's pretty exciting.

They got hitched on vacay

DRAGEES!!!!

Wye Oak ~ Glory

AND


Miss Eaves ~ Thunder Thighs


THIS TOO

Ben Howard ~ Black Flies (Scott Nixon Remix)

Cat food for flowers

Oh my cat.

http://www.seattletimes.com/pacific-nw-magazine/how-a-dab-of-canned-cat-food-protects-your-dazzling-dahlias/

Vacation reads

Garden Spells (Fiction)

Angels in My Hair (Autobiography)

Stamina, stamina, stamina

I mean the whole rest of my life can be about researching physical and financial health topics and cleaning and organizing. Oh and I have to do stuff, too. File away. I mean literally, get more file folders and such.

http://www.suzeorman.com/blog/why-everyone-needs-a-living-revocable-trust/

Life, life, life...

Let's have fun researching medical stuff.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/buddhist-tzu-chi-alternative-medicine-clinic-south-el-monte

https://www.yelp.com/biz/buddhist-tzu-chi-medical-center-alhambra-2

Why not.

A-pie-tite!!!

And also...

like a song

https://genius.com/Tori-amos-giants-rolling-pin-lyrics

GRP cover

This needed something....

New under the sun

I hope school children weren't watching (or imitating) what passed for presidential in 2017.

http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-watching-solar-eclipse-20017-photos-2017-8

Especially school children who might have gone without glasses because some accountant snatched 500 free ones and took them up to Oregon.

Any parent who thought he would be a good role model for their children might at this point recognize that embarrassment is actually a really healthy emotion.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/21/politics/trump-embarrassed-polls/index.html

But who knows

He might make a 10k donation to a pediatric optical charity?
Ha ha. I doubt it.
Free glasses...

A quick and easy 10k

At the park, nice people were sharing glasses. They were free, but "sold out." I got to see the eclipse at its peak!!!

I overheard a guy in the park talking about how his friend was somewhere in Pasadena, got 500 pairs of eclipse glasses for free, sold them for $20/each in Oregon....

That sounds fishy. It would be one thing if he got them cheaply, and sold them....

Well, no one faulted him for it.

"That's goooood..." they said. Little kids were running around.

He says his friend is an accountant and smarter than the rest of us.

Buying them cheaply and selling them sounds smarter. Taking a bunch of free ones....that sounds like someone got robbed. Like maybe the government or the community.

I wonder how many of the ppl who paid $20/pair are inclined to share what was intended to be free.

Best sign

Yes...

https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6v2dew/best_church_sign_in_relation_to_the_eclipse/

Sunny cloudy daysy

Elsewhere on the beach....

~~~ a show ~~~

Snap Judgment: Til Death Do Us Part

Even though it kinda gave me an awful panic attack the other night, this was worth listening to...But it pushed me to an almost catatonic state of fear and nausea. Then I took essences. Then I started talking.

XY: I thought these were supposed to help you.

XX: But they did. Before I couldn't say anything. Now I can talk.

It's nice to think, tho...

Even though we have this awful administration in place right now, there truly are so many good men on this planet who are not afraid of feminism. Even if they are not the majority  of men...still, there are so many more of them than there used to be!!! I hope you manage to find some. You clearly didn't want a woman to teach you. So I hope you get some more of the feminist men in your life. I saw who you hung out with, and they were not it. So why not welcome new people into your life? Like a healing potion and a good neighbor...who knows maybe they can deal with your issues better.

Some inspired character

SHOCKING LACK OF SCRUPLES
Strikes again

Able to worm his way into the hole
Created when your dad disrespected you and your mom and you had to survive it

Now you act more like him than you even know.

Oh, brother that wasn't

I got up, and just  because I am in the proximity of a certain environment a level of shock occurs to me...again. Really. Again.

It must be hard to be in denial about how much your own bias and discriminatory behavior has hurt people. Especially if it was unintentional or unconscious, and especially if people have just rewarded you for going along with it for it for a very long time.

Essentially, you were just imitating whatever behavior some authority figures taught you, and being oppressive in the process. And then, going into denial about how much it harms people is the best way you know how to deal with it?

And the system still supports that, and rewards people for it monetarily, and...wow, man.

This has taught me to work harder to find the people with maturity, sensitivity, wisdom and better developed sense of ethics.

Love twilight and nature

Don't branches look beautiful in that light?
Yes, they do.

I believe if I go towards nature
I can get healed and be free.

Turning another way...

I need to go towards healing stuff. My body is just too sensitive because of PCOS and who knows, maybe some other things. I need to chose more healing choices.

Yep. I know it again.
Yep....I know it again!!!
I can choose HEALING.
And I will do so.
This is my lesson from my physical self.

Om... (It was pretty...)

Sunset...

Yay, turmeric!!!

Somewhere there is a healer orange angel fairy...

https://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/20-health-benefits-of-turmeric.html

If only it would cure some people of selfish sexist immature harmful behavior.

But anyway...

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-radical-way-women-running-for-office-are-being-trained-to-fight-sexism-in-trumps-america-75683

And it says "even women...have unchecked assumptions..." So if you're a man bragging about how enlightened you are, that's a huge red flag.

Sometimes I don't feel like forgiving people for their sexist extremely harmful B.S. Go away. Find the enlightened orange turmeric fairy. Get therapy. Purge yourself of your destructive hypermasculine blah blah blah yuck.

Time for a break

from fatiguing red tape.

I have been sifting through health care documents and papers and trying to figure stuff out (where can I go to be seen for some things?) and I just need to stop doing this for a bit.

"Vacation" is over.

In spite of some hiccups, I really liked being away. But I am also so tired of clueless sexist men, and tired of women who make excuses for their bad behavior and enable them to be clueless and sexist (mostly because of something money-related). It's cruel and unnecessary and it ruins relations and things that could have been good.

My cat gets test results and the doctor takes cash and credit card.
Pets get better care than humans

I also hope the guy who is in the White House gets impeached soon, because it seems like things have gotten worse since he came in. But really, isn't he just a reflection of self-serving chauvinistic attitudes and behaviors that people were already indulging in?

Beachy

Healing ingredients

Peace
Necessary

Tranquility
Necessity

Enough reason to look further

into attitudes about gender roles...

The Women Behind The Alt-Right

Seyward Darby:

"There's a wonderful scholar named Kathleen Blee at the University of Pittsburgh and she has written a few books about women in right-wing extremism. One of the things she talks about is the role that women play in projecting this image of happy families, communities that are proud of their heritage — that it's not so different from your community. And it's a particularly insidious aspect of the propaganda. It's certainly something I encountered and was told repeatedly in my interviews."

http://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544134546/the-women-behind-the-alt-right

I wish some people would read this

and think about it.

"Transgender Men See Sexism From Both Sides" by Charlotte Alter:

"As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names."

http://time.com/transgender-men-sexism/

Not mentioned....why sometimes women in these environments just go along with it.

Sandy beauty to trod upon

outside

I will plastic container

Never to repeat again: dropping and breaking a glass jar of coconut oil in the wee dark hours of the morning in bare feet and without glasses. Thanks be to higher powers and a broken chair and a rolling chair I made it back up the stairs to retrieve footwear/eyewear without cutting up feet. Then spent an hour testing out almost every cleaning device in order to clean up oil and tiny shards as well as giant hidden ones. NOT funny -- That "Walking on Broken Glass" song. www.frockflicks.com/snark-week-annie-lennox-walking-broken-glass/ nooooo...

Beautiful barrier

Magnesium maybe

So tired and thirsty and not at all hungry. Ate some nutty foods anyway and began to feel better! (Nut crackers, pecans, filberts, almonds...) How to hopefully not be under a heating pad half the time...

Agua and window box flowers

Rainy & weedy...but I find them to be lovely...

Society & Change

Even though I am feeling much better physically, I still want to change whatever set of circumstances made it so that clinics which would have accepted my cash in the past now have a policy to turn me away because of the low income health insurance I carry. It still bothers me a lot that they did that, and that they will do it to others. It felt terrible.

I want to make it better.

Gotta go back, maybe?

Gardening

https://www.seattleu.edu/news/news-features/gardening-guru-returns-to-su.html

Exposure

http://www.king5.com/mobile/article/news/local/john-oliver-introduces-world-to-seattles-ciscoe-morris/281-462419442

Why the universe had you get stranded in Houston with an Aggie Boeing contractor...

https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/comments/6s3qe3/gardening_with_ciscoe_morris_on_last_week/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=top_post&utm_content=2

Kinda funny boat story from 5 a.m.?

As perceived by somebody.

Friends of woman who works in something entertainment-related: Wow, you met so-and-So?

Woman: Yeah, whatever...(but upon seeing a famous boat from her favorite TV show)
Omg, omg, omg (intensely fangirling) eeee, have to take PICTURES, I just saw the .... !!!!

https://amp.reddit.com/r/Seattle/comments/36x1cc/deadliest_catch_ships/

De...

(make it through this trip...you will be rewarded...)

'Liciousness

Travel adventures

On the first plane, the ear was better and the nausea ceased. Was it the xylitol spray?
The garlic oil? The Alprazolam?

I got on many planes as a child, flying alone or with my sister from one part of the country to the next...this was also useful to remember when a passenger had a meltdown and shouting matches with flight attendants ensued, in spite of the fact that the captain had announced everyone needed to be seated because of turbulence. A woman screamed, you are not sitting next to my son. You're scaring him.

You're scaring me, he screamed back at her.

Police were waiting at the gate and a number of us missed our connections. Things began to turn around with a free hotel stay, meal vouchers, good conversations with fellow stranded passengers and the bartender, a 3:30 a.m. wake up call ("Thanks but I still have 45 minutes to sleep /  Sorry, I thought you were in Atlanta!"), even more good conversation and tentative plans to meet again for lunch, but the challenge returned in that last sleepless hour of exhaustion, screaming children, desperate sips of water, ginger tablets, clumsy ear muffs, sea bands, and turbuleeence...and then, the sweet solid ground and beautiful humid air of the East Coast.

Today is a day

I am taking stuff for ear pain and doing hone remedy stuff and I am going to fly.  I can go to an urgent care on the East Coast tomorrow. I would have felt better if I had been seen yesterday. I cannot believe I was turned down by the minute clinic and the community clinic, even if I offered to pay cash.

How is that ethical. It isn't.

It is not.

The great cleansing wind of cleansingness

And the good cleansing wind of goodness

And the silly cleansing wind of silliness 

www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6rrpzc/on_second_thought_lets_not_park_here_tis_a_silly/

Two thumbs up

Garlic oil
Xylitol spray

How does this make sense?

Here is a clinic for the community!

Oh, but not for you.

You have the poor people's insurance.

We don't treat your kind.

Can't even pay out of pocket.

Today's lesson

Medical discrimination and income level.
Because I have Medi-Cal, local Urgent Cares won't see me for my earache, even if I ask if I can pay out of pocket. They used to see you if you paid out of pocket. What changed??

Hello, light...

Hello, body. I feel you again. I want us to feel better. Please help me feel and truly be open to the universe's healing energies because I will be traveling soon. I have recently had earache, very strong cramps, and perhaps some restlessness because of residual stress. I know I really need to listen to you. I also want some powerful and effective healing vibes to help me feel much better, to help me be able to travel well, and not have to suffer from those ailments, but to instead feel good and healed and full of joy. I can breathe better. I  know there are love and healing vibes in the universe. I want to do what best for you. Please and Thank you.

Farms of the ancients...

arstechnica.com/science/2017/08/evidence-that-humans-had-farms-30000-years-earlier-than-previously-thought/

I have a big goal

Genuine acceptance and confidence in my body and it' abilities to be as healthy as possible. Healthy can look different on different people. One person's healthy shape is not the same as another's healthy shape. Healthy include mental health and being good to yourself at different phases. Being in a good place with this inheritance...Swimming gets me there.

This is good too...
Take to the Sky / Datura 

Wonderful night music

Well I love a rainy night

Trouble needs a home

The song I actually had in my head when I was swimming escapes me now 

but it was pleasant and a bit, mmmm, old-fashioned,

 kind of like something people would dance to in a ballroom

Shoot, wish I could remember it!

New to me and playing when I got in

the end of: 

"Catch and Release" ~ Silversun Pickups:

"Do you see? How the wind in your hair now feels differently
Catch and release the lure above
 Guess the lure was enough"

I ~love~night~swimming!!!

I made sure to enjoy it because it will probably be the last before I get back from a trip and the pool I can afford changes to the "autumn" schedule (well the college kids are going back to school so I guess that's understandable).

Lying on the back, not counting laps, drinking in the clouds and the moon and those little flags that wave above the pool...

I loved it.

Pretty cool song to revisit

Flying Dutchman...

Fun surprise

Roommate left, returned, and now tells all about the wonderful things (this must be the glass garden) going on in Seattle!

I must re-visit it soon...

People who go on rejuvenating vacations are happy.

How's the heart

Breathe
BREATHE
Breathe

Sometimes I think I am over something now or moving on in a healthy way, but then I wake up from sleep and feel pained again by missed opportunities. It relates to healthy living and stopping patterns of abuse and disrespect.

I dreamed I lived by a woman who was experiencing domestic violence. My roommate was a male cop who'd had an abusive dad. He didnt hear the woman cry for help, because he was immersed in his own experiences and internal pain. I needed to call some other cops because a woman was being abused. He needed a different kind of help, like therapy, but I had to focus on the domestic violence situation.

It's amazing how much we still need to evolve as a society. I don't know why the culture became the way it is, which is to say heartbreakingly tolerant of sexism and discriminatory practices... This is a strange, painful mystery. You can expect better from people and from life.

I have to breathe whenever this happens.

BREATHE love
BREATHE lessons
BREATHE life

discovering the beauty of swimming freestyle

Before, I always liked bobbing my head under and swimming like a frog, but I awkwardly swam "the crawl" out of obligation "because that's what you're supposed to do when you lap swim"...tonight IT WAS DIFFERENT...tonight it was my favorite...I enjoyed the speed...and I swear, I think can take stairs better now because I swim a few times a week...

Tonight the water was...

silky and ripply like...a bowl of cake batter?

(there must have been a time when you dipped your finger into some batter and as you tasted it and looked into the bowl your mind was suffused with the sweetness of the moment and the beauty of the ripples...)

Food

Plus Come on Feel the Illinoise....

Cat life

It's a dog day of summer

I was just sitting in my living room and this woman walked by and I swear she said, right outside my window or door, "And they have this list of people who have rape penalties and..."

I opened the door with tears streaming down my face  (because of wine and a story) and I watched her walking away, talking on the phone.

Two kids were playing outside.

Down the walk she travelled and turned the corner.

I wonder if she really said that.

It's a weird day...its
Strange.

Hi, story

Reading this beauty

johnhartephoto.wordpress.com/2015/03/14/twinkies-hawaii-and-messages-in-the-sand-the-story-of-sylvia-and-herlinda/

because wikipedia.org/wiki/McFarland,_USA

Hi, sadly topped fig tree under telephone pole

And wine with ginger

Trying to imitate a ginger wine from Illinois....don't ask.

Hi, tears...hi...