I'm repeating things again. I've watched
Kill V. Maim a lot. It's because it has a message for me. (Maybe not the same as the one it held for the artist.) If I were too stressed out, I wouldn't be able to watch it. But I was drawn...I had some older things circulating in my brain (Beatrice D'Este, the person she married and worked with, their roles in the arts, some of the dynamics, how she died in childbirth, how he was sent to prison and what he might have done to survive before he died there). Blood. I had some more 21st century issues in my head (my own health, women's health issues, abortion rights, laws / politics). Blood. I thought about this one too:
Dream Fortress. That would be more relaxing to watch, of course. I still don't know what I will be doing in the future. But I can think, isn't it amazing what people can create. And
I saw this and I went, hmmm...I want to read
Break In Case of Emergency when it comes out. So I love literature and art. But I cannot go to AWP. I thought about it. I cannot, this time. Will I ever? I don't know yet.